A Prayer

There is much I want to be Lord. There is so much in my desires and in my passions. Some of these things are godly, some of them sinful, and some of them are neither. I want to be an intellectual, a genius who knows an inordinate amount about everything. I want to be an amazing video gamer. I want to be an athlete. I want to be a football player. I want to be a full-time student with a 4.0. I want to stay up all night and hangout with people all the time. I want to be a partier. I want to be a flirt. I want to be incredible at interacting with people. I want attention. I want to be alone all the time. I want the American Dream. I want to be a rockstar. I want to be famous. I want to be respected. I want to write brilliant books. I want to quit school and work instead. I want to be unconcerned for others. I want to love people. I want to pursue You in Your word. I want unparalleled theological brilliance. I want to be unmatched. I want to declare truth without love. I want to be arrogant. I want to be humble. I want my life. I want Your will. I want to impress people. I want to impress myself. I want to find my worth in my performance and perfection. I want to find my worth in You. I want to compare myself to others. I want to accept who I am. I want to be attractive. I want glory among men. I want Your glory among men. I want to be loved. I want to live without need for love. I want to hide from everyone. I want unoccluded transparency. I want to be cynical. I want to see the best in everything. I want my peace. I want my safety. I want my stability. I want to trust You for these things. I want to work to get them on my own. I want a cold heart. I want a soft heart. I want a high paying and powerful career. I want to undermine people. I want to smoke. I want to drink. I want to be as much as I think I can be. I want to join the Army and kill people. I want to live in my own fantasy world. I want to live in reality. I want money to have no hold on me. I want power to mean nothing to me. I want to put people before myself. I want purity. I want licentiousness. I want to be who You've called me to be. I want a baby. I want a wife. I want to have sex. I want those things to be incomparable to whatever You have for me. I want to think and talk about You without living for You. I want Your love. I want to live free from Your conviction. I want to live freely. I want to live for You. I want my life. I want Your will. I want to be what I want to be. I want You. I want what You want. I want to be who You've called me to be. Lord take my wants. Take my will. Take my passions. They are vast in number and contradictory in nature. Conform my wants, my passions, my desires, my will to Yours, to Yours, oh Lord. To Yours. I want nothing more than Your will done in me. I want nothing less than Your will done in me. Crucify these desires that I may live in Yours.